18 Ways You Know You’re Dating a Total Frat Bro

31

1. You most likely met him at one of your sorority’s prebars or mixers with his fraternity. You were drunk. He was drunk. It may have taken you a while to figure out his name the next morning, but it was the perfect way to find your perfect match.

2. His frat house is your second home. You sleep over so often, you’re almost considered an “unofficial” brother.

3. But you’ve learned you can’t leave any of your belongings in his house without them getting stolen. Apparently drunk sorostitutes think it’s okay to break into guy’s rooms and steal their girlfriend’s pillow pets they left behind. Ugh, those bitches.

4. His entire wardrobe consists of Vineyard Vines quarter zips, salmon-colored shorts, pastel bow ties and Sperrys. This makes birthday/Christmas/Hanukkah shopping that much easier.

5. You dancing with others guys = OK. Him dancing with other girls = Hell no.

6. His daily activities include drinking, smoking, chilling, eating and sleeping. And repeat.

7. You’ve had sex with him in his chapter room. Gross, but necessary.

8. And you’ve gotten comfortable with having sex in front of other people. Whether it was on the bus ride home from formal, or in his room he shares with three other brothers, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

9. It’s a HUGE deal once you become exclusive. Emphasis on the huge. All his brothers know who you are and you learn all the secrets from when he pledged. It’s kind of like a special “frat bros girlfriend” club.

10. Any time he passes out blackout drunk outside the bar, you always have one of his brothers on speed dial to help carry him to bed.

11. His frat is your favorite frat. Because, duh.

12. You consider his house dog to practically be yours too. The dog probably should be considered yours, since you walk him, feed him and take care of him way more often than any of the brothers do.

13. He gives you his letters. The most romantic and heartfelt gesture a frat bro can do. Ahhh, love.

14. You’ve been by his side at every one of his formals and date parties. You’ve even made a name for yourself at each one. Like the time you got kicked out of the club for supposedly being passed out on the couch. Even though you were totally not passed out.

15. For every one of his formals, you’ve spent hours making the most creative cooler for him. And yours are always the best. Always.

16. He prefers Keystone and Natty Light over good-quality beer. It’s just a weird frat thing.

17. He commemorates your love when he graduates by writing his and your name in a heart on a wall in his house. Kelly + Bobby 4ever! Awwww.

18. Even long after he graduates, he still acts like a total fratty bro. Because once a frat bro, always a frat bro.  

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s